Friday, May 31, 2013

Perfectly perfect

There are things I don't know.  The list is shorter than you might expect because at my age life experience has taught me much (plus I just know a lot).  Let's start with the things I don't know since the list is shorter...I don't know why there are so many tax forms.  I don't know why ants are able to carry like a billion times their own body weight.  I don't know why people are such assholes.  But I do know that we can't dwell on what we don't know.  A person can drive themselves crazy dwelling and dwelling...and dwelling.  I speak from experience.  Let's see, the list of what I know is really quite long so I'll keep it brief.  Besides the aforementioned dwelling thing, I know that change is inevitable so don't bother trying to keep things the same.  I know that we are all flawed so don't try to be perfect.  I know that flawed people are annoying so we are actually all annoying.  I know we all daydream about throttling our children at some point or another and it's okay to dream about as long as we don't actually throttle them.  See?   I'm really pretty smart.  Don't be jealous.
We don't know what we don't know and that's the bitch about life.  I'd like to know everything and how to handle every situation so that the outcome is perfectly perfect.  Sadly, nothing is perfectly perfect and that's what frustrates me more than anything.  We are supposed to experience all kinds of things while we are here and learn something from each and every one.  So keep on learning and become a better person because of it.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Living in the moment

You know how you think you have it so bad and then you hear someone else's story and you feel stupid?  It can always be worse.  My mother always told me that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle but a person can't help feeling like they'll never make it through sometimes.  I'm feeling stupid this morning as I checked my facebook page and a friend posted that her husband has cancer.  I woke up with a headache at 5am worrying about myself and how much money I'm going to lose on the docpopcorn fiasco, poured my required cup of coffee, took four ibuprofen and checked my facebook page.  When I read her post I started crying and thought to myself "really Kary?  You don't have too much to be worried about"...yea, I'm gonna lose a chunk of change but so what?  Money comes and goes but your family and the people you love are forever.  We can easily get lost in the day to day trivial irritations and what we perceive to be the end of the world.  Our kids don't listen well enough, there are stupid drivers on the road, too many lazy workers not giving great customer service, companies lying to us when they want our money, no one in your house changing the toilet paper except for you...blah blah blah.   Start living in the moment people before you lose out on the opportunity.  Don't ever quit fighting the good fight.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Embrace the Journey

That's the sentiment I just saw on a Brighton bracelet in their latest catalog.  I cannot stay in the popcorn business any longer because the business won't sustain itself.  I found out yesterday that the company actually withheld vital information from me so that I would sign.  Had I had the information, I never would have gone into this business venture with them.  Today I am feeling swindled and I'm really angry.  I feel pissed, scared and unsure of the future and it's not fair.  Life isn't fair, isn't that what we always tell our kids?  Well, I don't like it, in fact I hate it.  I don't want to embrace this journey...I want to rewind and pretend it never happened.  I hope God is on my side for the next several months because I'm going to need his help to push through this.  I don't know what's going to happen but I'll do my best.  Sometimes we have to be steadfast and remain strong even when life is shooting darts at us...pray for me.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Hindsight is 20/20

It's truly amazing to look back on a year and all that it brings.  A year ago I started looking for a small business to buy so that I could contribute to our retirement and help pay for my children to go to college.  I had retired from dentistry but felt I was too young to do nothing.  My sister came to visit and brought with her some popcorn from Garret's in Chicago.  They are famous for their gourmet popcorn and the Chicago Mix (cheesy cheddar and caramel mixed together) and they must be doing something right because they charge a pretty penny and people wait in long lines that trail outside their door!  So, popcorn seemed like an excellent idea.  Should I do it on my own or should I buy into this popcorn franchise?  Franchises have it all figured out, right?  wrong.  Last May I started on this journey and when I think back it's amazing to me how clear it all is now.  How differently I see things...it's like black and white.  As excited and hopeful as I was then, I'm equally as discouraged and uninspired now.    Yes, I do make good popcorn.  Yes, I have learned a lot about business and trust.  I don't know what I'll be writing here a year from now but I know I'll look back with the same kind of awe at all that happened and how it changed me.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Karma, don't ya love it?


Karma is the idea that the beneficial or harmful effects one has on the world will return to oneself.  In other words, what goes around comes around.  So, I'm just going to sit back and wait to see what happens with the popcorn people.  While I'm waiting I'm going to have a few cocktails and daydream about what I'd like to see happen.  On a side note, I had a bit of very nice karma come my way and had a dear friend and her husband help me in my time of need by way of some much needed advice.  I needed that:)
If you are considering going into business for yourself or worse yet, buying a franchise...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't let anyone tell you that a lawyer is too expensive and you don't need to have your documents looked at...just words of wisdom from someone who knows.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Cost of Fear

Many things scare me.  Fear can paralyze you if you let it.  Losing a child, health problems, aging parents, kids leaving home, failing at anything, speaking in front of large groups, losing a pet, that the economy will get even worse, that the government really doesn't have a clue, an EMP, losing Kevin, not having a job that makes money, not having enough money for retirement, and running out of coffee.  That's the short list of things I'm afraid of.  I struggle with taking one day at a time and not worrying about what will happen tomorrow.  You can let fear consume you but at what cost?  You can't feel happiness or enjoy anything if you are scared.  Think about it.  The last time you were scared,  were you happy or enjoying life?  I fight it every day but I don't want to pay for fear with my own happiness and ability to enjoy all the great things in my life.  For fear of rambling on too long I'll end on this note: Just say NO to fear!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Fortunate Me

This is the day we honor our mothers.  As kids, I don't think we really understand what that means.  I know as a child I just plain loved my mom.  She did all kinds of stuff for me and I wanted to be with her all the time but I didn't truly understand the magnitude of the job.  I didn't know that there were sleepless nights and long tiring days.  I didn't know that she worried or suffered for me and my dumb decisions...or that she could feel physical pain at my own pain.  I know those things now because I have experienced them myself.  My children love me a lot...I know that.  But they won't really know what I have given to them as a mom until they are grown and are parents themselves.  This year on Mother's Day I'm going to focus on the blessing I have been given and how important I am to my kids. I think it's a great time for us all to reflect on what our mom's did for us and how much we appreciate them but I'm also going to just love my kids and enjoy them while they're still home with me.  Happy Mother's Day to all of you ladies out there who have worked hard to raise your babies and god bless.


Insanity

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  So are you insane if you do the same thing over and over and try to make it look different?  What about if you aren't aware that you are doing the same thing and it just looks different?  If you're going to tell people you are making changes for the better to help them out, don't just take what you've already done, which is lame, and change it around to look like it's new and different.  We aren't stupid...gullible maybe, too trusting perhaps, but not stupid.  Annoyed, yes.  Just a little ranting on this Saturday morning about the ridiculousness of my situation.  Thanks for listening:)

Thursday, May 9, 2013

One Good Man

I recently read something that said "if you are loved by one good man in this life consider yourself lucky and if you are loved by one good man and you love him back, then hang on with all you've got"...I am loved by a good man and reading that passage this morning got me thinking about just how blessed I am.  My husband of 21 years is an exceptional person.  He has been there for me through thick and thin, helped me through my life's trials and tribulations, made my wrongs right whenever he could, and has loved me with all of his heart.  Is he perfect?  nope.  Do I love him anyway?  yep.  Don't expect perfection in this life because you won't find it...not in your spouse, not in your kids, not in your parents or your best friend.  Love the people in your life regardless of their imperfections as Kevin loves me and you won't have any regrets.  I know I don't.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Where the wild things are

My son recently did a paper based on this children's book, however I challenge the premise that the wild things are in that book because I believe they are right here in my house.  Three kids, three dogs and one cat make things pretty wild around here!  Trying to explain to your 12 year old daughter that piles of clothes on the floor are not "cleaning up" and that if you have to walk over and step on various items to get into your bed then you need to probably clean up is like explaining the theory of quantum physics in chinese.  Not effective.  The crazy thing is that most of the time she can find her things in there.  My oldest son brings his dirty clothes up once a month and pretends like he's going to do his laundry until I finally get tired of seeing his stuff there and do it myself, then he just comes up to get something to wear in the morning so it's like our kitchen is now his personal closet.  The dogs and cat are the rulers of the kingdom though and they are spoiled (as are the kids) beyond belief but that's what happens when you love your furry beasts the way we do.  I will say that the animals are a lot easier to clean up after than the kids!  Yes, it's wild around here but I wouldn't change it for the world.  One day soon it will be all too quiet in my house and I'll be wishing that the wild things were here to make a mess and leave their stuff laying around.  Sometimes it's annoying and frustrating but isn't that the nature of the beast?

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Time

They say that there are places in this universe, other dimensions that have no time.  Where time is not measured but just is.  There is no aging and no watching the clock while the minutes pass you by.   Here on earth we marvel at how time flies, where the months and years have gone...We look at our children and we no longer see the babies we tucked in at night and tickled until they giggled uncontrollably. There is a great sadness in the realization that these times have passed and the clock keeps marching on as we measure the days, the months and the years.  We ponder what will be and how our families will change from the relentless march of time.  The little people in my life are no longer little but actually really big!  Soon they will be gone on their own and time will seem to push them through there own lives as it has pushed them through mine.  I am not sorry about any of it, just wishing that some moments could stand still and not go by at all.  Wherever time takes us in the future I hope that we can truly live each moment of it and cherish all there is to experience because you cannot stop it and it rushes by like a train, sometimes so real you can feel the rush of the wind.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Popcorn Paradise

So what's so great about popcorn?  If you need to ask that question then you are one of the few who doesn't like popcorn because most people do!  That's what's so great about it...that's why I felt like it was a great business to go into (and it is if you have the right location...) because everybody loves it young and old alike.  As an added bonus, my popcorn tastes really good and is also good for you, no fake stuff and no greasy oil topping, we use real ingredients including real butter:)  So why has this venture turned out to be unsuccessful?  well, I guess that's relative to what you consider success.  It's unsuccessful if you are looking at the numbers and hoping to see a profit!  It's successful if you taste the popcorn and see the smiles on the faces of our customers.  It's a great product.  It's in the wrong place.  The mall I'm in is not busy enough and does not create the foot traffic I need to have good numbers.  This is one of the things I have learned that is priceless really...where to open and more importantly where NOT to open.  I wish I had talked to someone like me before I had agreed on my location...hind site is 20/20, is it not?  There are several important factors involved when choosing a location and negotiating a lease with a mall.  I won't bore you with those details but I'm happy to share the information with anyone interested.  Buying a franchise is something I considered doing for a long time and when I finally took the leap, it was not what I expected at all.  Be careful, when you think you know everything and you've got it all under control with gathering essential information, ask for help!  Paradise?  no, not so much...but I look at it as a learning experience and in that respect it's certainly serving it's purpose.  I am one educated fool!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Grateful

Great.  Full.  That's what my life is.  Before I go any further in my story, I want you to know that I have a great and wonderful life full of love, friends and perfect moments.  Today I had a very good friend remind me of those things.  She also told me that I am doing great things with my life and that I should not be embarrassed by what I do...ever.  She helped me to see that I have a lot to be grateful for and that I am doing things that many people do not have the chance or, in some cases, the balls to do.  I opened a small business that I started from the ground up and I run it every day.  I have gained leaps and bounds of experience that I never would have gotten otherwise and I stepped outside my box to do it all.  I guess I shouldn't be embarrassed...thanks girlfriend!  I needed to hear what you had to say to me and I did.  I suppose if I measure my success by the dollars I've made then no, I have not been successful because I have not made too many dollars.  But if I measure my success by what I have learned and how many people I am helping in some way, then I've done a good thing.  I'm not always happy about slinging popcorn, training new employees, hauling 50 pound bags of corn, or doing the books and payroll but I do it well and that's what matters.   Life is all about challenges and how you handle them.  Do you rise up and meet them head on or do you run and hide?  I can say in all honesty that I have always met them head on.  That's something to be proud of...