Friday, June 10, 2016

Sometimes it's easy...

Sometimes it's easy to forget because we don't want to remember.  Sometimes we forget because it's been so long.  But the thing we have to try to remember is that not everything we thought was terrible, the stuff we thought we'd never survive, was for naught.  Every experience shapes us, every experience teaches us and every experience, no matter how much we want to forget, is part of us.

I was driving through my old neighborhood this morning and it's funny how the site of a person's backyard fence brings back memories from 10 years ago...the year my kids were young and walking the dog around the block.  The fence my daughter crashed the scooter into and banged up her knee...the mind is a powerful thing.  Don't be fooled by it, don't think it will let you forget.  It won't.  Time is like a veil pulled down over memories, it can be your friend if you are trying to forget.  But time does not heal all wounds, it just dulls the pain.  Don't be afraid to face your fears, don't be afraid to remember the hard times. They make you stronger.

I tell my kids all the time to be their own person, don't be what someone else wants you to be.  As parents it can be hard to listen to that advice because we want so much for our kids that we tend to try and control everything and "steer" our children in the right direction...at least what we think is the right direction.  And the sad truth is that you can't continue to do that and expect your kids to grow up and be free thinkers and independent people.  Young people want to please their parents.  Make it easy on them by letting them know that you love them no matter what choices they make whether you agree with them or not.  Allow them to make their own mistakes and let them know you are there for them if they need you.  Threats and ultimatums might work when they are 5 or 6 but when they are 17, 18...21? no.  Sometimes it's easy to forget they have grown up...it's always hard to let them go.